Old couch bringing new feelings.
Hello there. Its great to see you here in 2015. How are you feeling ? (Really – how are you feeling? Put those words in your head – and remember them).
I am sitting here on my old couch, outside, listening to the day wake up. I love this time. I feel energised, inspired, alive, contemplative, meditative, connected, soft, gentle and aware. Its my favourite time of the day. The start to 2015 has a lot to do with this old couch I am sitting on – but we’ll come back to that in a moment.
This is the start of my first year as a life coach. There is a bit of pressure to start this year with a complex structure of big vision, goals and limitless action, but that is a bit daunting right? So instead I will concentrate on the sweet feeling that “I can do this” and I know how to go about it.
I have learnt so much in the past year about supporting my clients in realising their goals – and I love doing that. So now, what am I going to do for myself starting this new year? How does this new life coach go about it?
I naturally love to plan for the things I want to happen. But to start with I am not planning “things” this year. I am planning how I want to feel. As an “ENFP” on the Myer Briggs scale – living through the perception of feeling comes naturally to me.
The concept of knowing and planning how you want to feel has been beautifully captured by Danielle LaPorte in “The Desire Map” (a gorgeous and revolutionary book – highly highly recommend it). She highlights that we all go after our goals/ dreams/ ambitions to FEEL something. Driven to buy a new house – are they feelings of security, accomplishment, freedom you are seeking ? Want to lose 5kg – are they feelings of acceptance, a new energy, respect, appreciation or love you are craving ? Whatever goal you are after – keep digging until you can identify the underlying core desired feeling that you are hungry for. If we don’t feel what we are expecting to “feel” when we achieve something – it can leave us unsatiated, and unsatisfied. Look at the stories of tragedy of many lotto winners. And we may just keep going after goal after goal seeking a particular feeling – and never “arriving”, and feel empty. Its good to have clarity on how we want to feel from the outset.
Feeling our core desired feelings is incredibly satisfying – and I believe at the heart of a happy and fulfilled life.
So a good place to start is working out – how you want to FEEL.
Going through my “Desire Map” exercise for this year – I have come up with 7 core feelings that pull at my heart strings and make me feel alive and inspired. Connected, Expansive, Energetic, Abundant, Conscious, Joy and Vibrant are the words that are rocking my soul and make me buzz. I will live the year 2015 with these feelings close to my heart.
These core desired feelings are going to help me navigate my world. I will look for opportunities for feeling these feeling every day. If a project/ invitation/ any other life situation doesn’t feel like these words – I will be saying a polite “no thanks” and move on and towards something offering the feeling what I want to feel.
Now back to my old couch.
As I have mentioned – I start my day on this couch. Everyday. This is the only real “me” time I get (with little ones getting up about 2 hours after I do). We have had this old couch for 16 years. For the past four years it has sat under shelter outside – and its old fabric is getting the stains of everyday life, and very scruffy looking. When I had identified my core desired feelings – I was thinking how I was going to feel each morning. Spending my precious morning time on a couch I saw and felt a bit “ick” wasn’t making me feel joy, vibrant or abundant. How I start my day is so important ! So with my mum here on holiday – it is the most perfect opportunity to get some moral and physical support to re-upholster this couch. I felt conscious – not tossing it out and going the easy route of buying a new couch and breathing new life into something I already had. I have never re-upholstered anything before – so I feel expansive in stretching my sewing ability and knowledge to this project (thanks to you-tube). I am throwing my energy into this project – physical energy to get it done, but the anticipation of the calm energy I will feel each morning as I sit on the couch. I feel connection to my mum in the way she gently offers advice about the ways to go about it, and she rips the old zips from the old cushions so we can re-use them again – and makes me have tea breaks. I need those breaks. I need her by my side. After buying the upholstery fabric on sale a couple of days ago – I am about a third of the way through, with four cushions complete. Today I want to finish the arm supports – and then tackle re-upholstering the back tomorrow. And I already feel great about it. When I finish this – I will have felt so much through this little re-upholstery journey. And I love feeling those feelings.
So this little couch project is how I start my year. All my core desired feelings wrapped up and interpreted through my thoughts, actions and my future time on this couch. It feels good.
I would love to hear how you are feeling right now (do you still have that feeling in your mind?). How do you want to feel ? What are you going to do, to feel the way you want to feel ? Let me know in the comments. I want to know !
Infuse your core desired feelings into your everyday – and you have a recipe for happiness.
As a coach I would love to help you find how you want to feel, and ways you can feel that – feel more connected, aligned, and on track with the real you. If you feel like this is a direction you would like to go in…get in contact with me here. You won’t regret it !
Hi, I'm Chantal
Hi, I’m Chantal Roelofs. I work with motivated people who have experienced a lot of life (parents, career changing individuals) – to create feelings of fulfilment, ease and joy in their career, life or business. I support them to follow their new sense of self, their values and priorities and their family dynamic to achieve on-purpose change, and a new satisfied feeling in their lives.